Parenting and Social Responsibility

"Am I my brother's keeper?" retorted Cain when God questioned him concerning the whereabouts of his brother Abel, whom Cain had just murdered.

Cain's age-old response to God started mankind down a path that has had major ramifications for our societies and civilizations. When we reject a sense of responsibility for the welfare of our fellowman, we're reduced to savagery in a struggle for dominance and the survival of the fittest. When we accept a shared responsibility with and for one another, we are then able to work together for the common good.

In spite of the abundance of warning signs in the behavior of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold—including an obsession with violent video games, strange music, black clothing, Adolf Hitler and guns and explosives—the two boys marched unimpeded toward orchestrating their personal Armageddon.

The two obtained a small arsenal of guns and ammunition and materials to construct more than 60 bombs—some of them extremely sophisticated—apparently without their families' knowledge or intervention. Fifteen people lost their lives and 23 others were wounded because no one intervened to put a stop to a tragedy in the making.

What does this say about the state of modern families?

Dave DeForest-Stalls, executive director of an activity center for Denver teens and older youth, expressed the problem this way: "What it all comes down to is, Who's listening to these kids? Who is spending enough time to listen to them? Who knows them?"

Research has shown the links between broken homes and the increased likelihood of eventual criminal behavior. Yet the Columbine High catastrophe is a dramatic wake-up call to all families. These two students came from apparently stable, middle-class- and wealthy families. But, in a society in which the norm is that parents hold down one or more jobs outside the home, as was the case here, there isn't enough time to go around.

When we analyze our society as a whole the picture becomes clear. "We don't spend enough time with kids, and we've taught them they're not valued," Mr. DeForest-Stalls said. "We'll give them a check, a credit card, a car before we give them our time."

Material possessions—cars, computers, gadgets and a generous allowance—are no substitute for the priceless gift of time spent with our children.

"We have to focus on our own behavior and neglect rather than on what's so wrong with kids these days," he continued. "We have to let them know their lives have value ..."

God expects parents to instill proper values in their children. When He gave His laws to ancient Israel, He knew the family was the building block of a safe and decent society. Immediately after He revealed the Ten Commandments, notice His instruction to parents:

"Keep these words, which I say to you this day, deep in your hearts; teaching them to your children with all care, talking of them when you are at rest in your house or walking by the way, when you go to sleep and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Bible in Basic English).

Several fundamental principles for maintaining an orderly society come clear in these verses.

First, parents are to learn God's laws and allow His Word to guide their thoughts and conduct. The words and deeds of parents are the most effective teacher in instilling proper values.

Second, parents are to teach God's laws to their children "with all care." They are to make this one of their highest priorities. No parent should excuse himself from this God-given responsibility.

Third, parents must regularly discuss God's laws and His Word with their children. Parents should teach their children, through real-life examples we see in the news and all around us, how obedience to godly laws brings blessings and disobedience brings pain and sorrow. The tragedy at Columbine High School is a powerful example of how obsession with evil leads to indescribable anguish to everyone involved. Far too many of the adults and peers who interacted with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold had lost touch with the way they were thinking.

Fourth, this passage clearly tells parents regularly to spend time with their children—to converse with them, know what they are thinking and let them know they are loved, valued and appreciated, both by their parents and by their Creator. Parents should know how their children think and feel-what they enjoy and what causes them pain and hurt. Parents should be there to guide them in dealing with anger and coping with frustration and rejection.

If you would like to learn how obedience to God's laws leads to a safer and healthier society, be sure to request your free copy of The Ten Commandments. While you're at it, request free copies for your friends and loved ones. You'll find this 80-page booklet to be a wonderful guide for teaching God's laws to your children. GN